Sunday, October 17, 2010

short story exercises

This quarter, I am taking a Creative Writing class that deals with the short story. Every weekend, we have a new story, or exercise, that demonstrates how we have learned something from the previous chapter in our book. This week, we learned about escalating plot and storyline. I think this is my favorite story so far. I don't mind posting it because I'm not getting it published or anything. It's just for fun.

"The Fatal Plunge" by Travis LaRiviere

The stone was as elegant as can be. Light had reflected off its face and glowed a brilliant white flicker. The gold band encased the diamond and wrapped to make a perfect circle. Aaron held up the engagement ring to the ceiling light, examining it closer before he made the final purchase.


“Brother, I think this is the one,” Aaron said.

Matt, Aaron’s brother, took the ring and examined it himself. “It’s pretty sweet dude. I’m sure she is going to love it.”

Aaron took back the ring and finalized his purchase with the woman at the counter. “Congratulations, young man. I hope you and your girlfriend are will have a wonderful life,” she said, handing the boxed ring in a small bag.

They stepped out of the store into the busy mall and proceeded to walk back towards Aaron’s black Camry. A few ignorant seagulls had left some droppings on his windshield. “God, I just cleaned this thing earlier. Sometimes I wish I could just shoot them all down,” Aaron said.

“I know dude. Stupid birds.”

The traffic leading back home was fairly decent. A few slow areas lined the freeway along the opposite side. Their direction had a much steadier flow. Aaron had to concentrate on driving, but wanted to look at the engagement ring he just bought for his unsuspecting girlfriend. Matt took it out for him and examined it once more, reveling in its grandeur.

“I’m excited for you man. When are planning on proposing to her?” Matt asked.

“Well not tonight. I still need to plan out my idea. I need to make reservations at the restaurant so it definitely will not be tonight. We are just going on a casual date. What about you? What are you doing?” Aaron asked.

“Tonight?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, Kim is just coming over and we’re watching a movie. Something I haven’t seen yet so she is excited to have me watch it,” Matt replied.
The Camry pulled up into the driveway and both men grabbed the other bags from the back seat. Groceries, clothes, and a bank receipt filled the bags.

“Do you know what movie it is?” Aaron asked, closing his door.

“I think it’s the one with the boy wizard or something like that,” Matt replied, several bags in hand.

“Yeah have fun with that.”



Later that night, Kim, Matt’s girlfriend, approached the door as Aaron opened it and began to walk out.

“Oh hey Kim! How are you?” he asked, giving her a friendly hug.

“Hi Aaron! I’m doing just great. Just going to be spending some time with your brother tonight.”
Aaron noticed the DVD case in her right hand when they finished their hug. “Is it true that you are making him watch Harry Potter?” he asked.

“Well yeah…I think he’ll enjoy it,” she answered.

“You two have fun now okay? I’m going out with my special person tonight so I wont be back til late.”
Aaron headed back out towards his Camry and drove off down the street. Kim closed the door behind her and strolled up to Matt, where she gave him a kiss. “Hi baby! How are you doing? You excited to watch our movie?”

“Of course I am,” he replied. He had a subtle hint of sarcasm, but not too much that Kim was annoyed by it. “I had a pretty good day today. Aaron and I did some running around, but it has been pretty relaxing today.”

“I’m so glad baby.”
Matt leaned in and gave her another kiss on her right cheek, her skin soft and colored in a light blush.

“I just want you to know how much I love you,” he told her.

“I love you very much, Matt.”

“Oh I have something to show you! I think you will like it.”
Matt turned away for a brief moment and went to the kitchen table where the bags from earlier were placed. He scrambled around inside one of them and grabbed the engagement ring that Aaron purchased. He brought the ring over to Kim and opened it to show her. “What do you think?”

“Oh…my…God! Yes baby! I will marry you!” she screamed in excitement.
Matt was stunned as to her reply. This was not the exact reaction he had looked for. This was worse. Much worse.

“What did you say?”

“I said yes, baby! I will marry you! Oh you are the sweetest guy in the world!” She leaned forward and threw her arms around him and planted a juicy kiss right on his lips.
Matt hesitated, but kept on hugging her and kissing her long enough to think of a plan to pull himself out of this. He couldn’t let this good moment go away.

“Uh…yes Kim. I want you to be my wife. Now and forever.” He took the ring out of the box and slid it on her finger; a perfect fit.

Now the floodgates had opened. He saw a twinkle in her eye as she observed the stunning ring on her finger.

“Baby, would you give me a minute to go to the restroom? I’ll be right back,” he asked.

“Of course my love. I’ll be waiting right here for you.” Her smile lit up the night sky through the window.
Matt trudged around the corner hall into the bathroom. He splashed his face with a handful of water and stared at himself through the mirror. His reflection gazed back at him, the inner conscience letting him know the mess he was in. His grip on the porcelain of the sink turned his knuckles bright white.

“Sweetheart? Are you okay?” Kim called from the living room.

“Yeah I’m fine. Just give me a minute. Got a sick feeling in my stomach.”

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